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Lazaro

My main character along with Mark, with whom he is always paired. Lazaro is a perfectionist who puts up a standoffish front to hide his vulnerabilities. Always on edge.

Personality

At first Lazaro appears conceited, and this isn't exactly false. He does have a high opinion of himself and finds gratification in preforming better than others. But on the other side of this arrogance is a deep gut wrenching fear of failure. Nothing humiluates him more than looking like an inexperienced fool infront of someone else. As such he takes criticism hard and will react very defensively. His way is the right way in case you didn't know. Yes, he is incredibly frustrating to work with.

Does not give a single shit if you like him or not, and has zero patience for small talk, often responding in silence or an unimpressed "hm". He will judge you on petty nonsense and talk shit about you to his friends.

He's not an entire asshole, however, he will stand up for what is right and for his loved ones. He's not afraid to raise a fuss when others would rather ignore it for peace, or confront some other asshole. Sometimes he can go a little too far and accuse someone of wrong doing, based on a misunderstanding, but he does mean well. Mark admires him for this.

He's generally irritated by most people and likes to keep to himself for that reason, but he does enjoy a night out with friends on occasion. He likes an excuse to dress up after all. Close friends and a few drinks will loosen him up enough to have a good time.

Lazaro is flamboyant and takes pride in his appearance, liking to dress up classy. His mannerisms and voice can have some gay sass, especially with friends, whereas he tends to be stiff in body language and dry in voice when uncomfortable or at work settings.

Catholic. Not that he goes to church anytime other than Christmas and Easter, but he does have a few rosaries and will sometimes practice lent. Conflicted feelings due to the churches lack of acceptance of trans and queer people (which he is), but no other religious practice has felt right in its place.

You know this man is haunted by OCD. Compulsions, intrusive thoughts, guilt, all that good stuff. But of course, he doesn't realize thats what it is. He also has mild paranoia, sometimes feeling like hes being watched, or even that his thoughts can be heard.

Physical Traits

• tall and thin, but not lean
• black wavy hair, can be long or short
• tan skin, legs tend to be paler, while arms, chest, and face are more tanned
• long thin face with defined cheekbones
• big brown eyes under angled eyebrows, deep heavy eyebags even as a child
• overbite! sometimes drawn with a tooth gap
• can be a little soft around the middle, especially as he ages, carries the rest of his weight in his thighs, scrawny if not doing well
• moderately hairy, most so on legs
• likes classy elegant clothes, wears wine reds, dark teal, dark blue, black, charcoal, ivory, may wear gold jewelry
• very faint top surgery scars around his nipples, periareolar incisions since he didn't have much to begin with

See some outfits for Lazaro in my Mark and Lazaro dress up game, which is where this full body reference is from.

Story Roles

In much of my art Lazaro is just a regular human in modern day with his personality as described above. His very first rendition in 2015 was a vampire and predictibly, Mark was a werewolf. His name was "Luther" which I changed years later, after realizing it would be odd for a Catholic to choose the name Luther. He has also been a mage and a Vulcan which are described below:

Magic Apocalypse Story

Lazaro is a mage/wizard/socerer here. He can use magic by pure will and it is an inherited ability, not learned. It expends energy, some people have more energy available than others, and some can focus it better than others. Lazaro's magic is very strong, but highly unfocused, volatile even.

He was the oldest of his siblings, and the apparant strength of his magic was regarded as him having high potential. He could do things above his age range, and although it was hard for him to control, this was considered normal since he was a child. Childrens magic usually manifests due to strong emotions and acts out their gut desires. His parents, being higher class, got him special tutoring to foster his high potential, but his difficulties in controlling his magic began to show, soon dissapointing his parents as he began to fall behind standard magic milestones for children. He tried really hard to live up to these expectations, but as he struggled, and received constant criticism (particularly from his mother), he grew bitter, and would intentionally avoid practicing/training as a teenager, developing a more rebellious persona to hide his shame and frustration with himself. Its one thing to fail because you didn't try, its another to fail when you're trying your best. He was failing anyways, so why try so hard anymore?

His one comfort was his grandma, who saw his potential, but did not hold his lack of control against him. She taught him how to see and read auras, which he can do well, being a more observational skill rather than a focus of energy.

The whole idea behind this setting was that Lazaro caused it. Something terrible upset him and he. Exploded. Unintentionally of course, but he feels intense guilt over it. The setting is unfortunately not well developed, but many people have been transformed into sentient creatures, like Mark being a werewolf, and Laila a faun. His magic is now interwoven into the Earth and creatures. If he looks for a long uninterupted time, he can see the ice blue flickers of his own aura coming from all that was affected by his magic.

One potential reason for his explosion was his grandma dying; he went to go visit her before she passed, but the rest of his family would not let him see her for whatever reason (I would need to work that one out), and his anger and greif was the catalyst for his pent up, powerful magic to combust. How he did not die is a miracle. After the explosion, Lazaro's magic was greatly diminished in strength, but still difficult for him to control.

I vaugly had the sense that he was on the run from some magic authority. They may not even know it was his fault, but he's still terrified of being found out. Gabrielle is traveling with him and they seek refuge in Mark and Opal's home. I initially wanted an antagonist for this story, but I never came up with anything compelling. I think that if they did find him, they would strip his magic from him, therby eliminating the threat, but leaving him with freedom. It would still be cruel, and he would mourn this loss. It would be a little tragic too, as by then Mark will have helped him be easier on himself, which would finally allow him to start being able to controll his magic better.

Star Trek AU

In my Star Trek AU Lazaro is a Vulcan where, instead of being unable to conrol magic, he is unable to controll his emotions (bet you weren't expecting that one ;p). Again the oldest and brightest who fails to live up to his family's expections. Theres no explosions here though, just shame, resentment, and a deep down desire for belonging.

Unable to escape the stifling culture on Vulcan, and look at least somewhat respectable, saving his family some face, he joins starfleet, opting to join a majorly human crew. Unfortunately even among emotional humans, he finds himself still beholden to Vulcan standards, or at least what humans think Vulcan standards are. How he acted and talked was subject to judgment on how Vulcan it was or wasn't. Already being stiff and closed off, this soured Lazaro further, causing him to be more outwardly hostile. He much prefers to keep to himself in this universe.

He is second in command of the ship, most likely because his closet friend, Gabrielle, is the captain, though he is competent and not afraid to give out hard orders or take action.

Relationships

Mark

Lazaro and Mark are opposites, initially more likely to irritate one another than inspire fondness. Lazaro is initially frustrated by Mark's indirect words and hesitancy. To his suprise, Mark is consistently kind, and he finds it hard to dislike one of the few people who is nice to him. Mark's lack of self respect still frustrates Lazaro, but he tries to encourage Mark to stand up for himself and not take mistreatment. He will also stand up for Mark and chew someone out for being an asshole to him, or even having the gall to put pickles on Mark's burger when he asked for no pickles... (Mark is embarassed when he does things like this).

Mark also tries to encourage Lazaro to be kinder to himself, to be less critical of his abilies and accepting of being not great at something. This is very difficult for Lazaro to do, but Mark is one of the only people who has told him its okay to be bad at something. It also helps that Mark is there to encourage him to take a break when hes getting too frustrated. They are ultimately a good influence on each other, even though they dislike each other at first.

Under Mark's kind and accepting nature, Lazaro can finally fall apart and be vulnerable.

They end up as lovers/husbands/boyfriends in every rendition and will grow old together.

This is all rather vague since the specifics can very from setting to setting. In my magic apocalypse story, Lazaro is not as hostile to Mark at first, having came with Gabrielle to Marks house in a desperate journy for shelter. He's closed off and secretive, but not outright rude since they are providing shelter.

In my Star Trek AU, Mark is from our current day, not growing up with stereotypes about Vulcans, so he is one of the few who treats Lazaro as a person. They bond over being outsiders to the culture on the ship, feeling like outcasts from their orginal cultures, and yet longing for the homes they can never return to.

Gabrielle

Dear friend and former lover. Gabrielle had to break up with Lazaro as she matured emotionally, while he still struggled heavily. They're both stubborn and want to be "right", leading to frequent conflicts in their relationship. Despite their parting and sometimes intense disagreements, they are still fond of one another can't shake off their feelings. The romantic tension is palatable. They like to go out and have fun together, which is one of the only times you'll hear Lazaro genuinely laugh. Gabrielle in particular likes to tease him, after all his buttons are so easy to push.

Gabrielle was out as trans before Lazaro, and helped him come to terms with his feelings.

Love languages

Giving

Lazaro's primary love language is quality time, and although he much prefers to do things on his own, doing chores/projects/work/games with someone else is the best way for him to feel more comfortable around that person. What he prefers is being in the same place yet doing something different from his companion, that way he can do things how he likes, yet still feel connection. He's not very good at words of affirmation but he does like to communicate his love through touch, even if it is just resting his head on his loved ones shoulder or putting his hand on their arm. This is reserved for very close loved ones; unsurprisingly, he is not the kind to give hugs to aquaintances.

Receiving

He of course also likes reciving quality time and physical contact (only from those close again, he hates physical contact with strangers/aquantances and will step back to avoid an unwanted hug). He can be uncomfortable with words of affirmation sometimes, his gut reaction being that they are insincere, and having a hard time responding in kind, but he does appreciate them. He doesn't mind acts of service, though sometimes he prefers things to be done his way, which he is best at, though he can enjoy being spoiled and dotted on. This is good because Mark would die if Lazaro didn't want him to do anything for him. Gifts irritate Lazaro because he is very particular and does not like novelty junk. If he wants something he'll get it for himself, thank you very much.

Other Tidbits

• Hands and feet are always cold, contrasting to Mark always being warm, will shove his cold ass hand down the back of Mark's shirt with a grin, in bed he may also put a foot between Marks thighs, both to warm up and to bother Mark.
• thats not the only thing, I gotta add more

Songs

These are not necessarily songs that this particular OC would listen to, just ones from my own collection that I feel has their vibes. My collection is primarily rock, where as my characters tastes would be different character to character. Lyrics are copy pasted fromm those lyric sites, sorry for any inaccuracies. Each song as a whole will usually be applicable to the character, but extra pertinent lines will be italicized.

The In Between - In This Moment

Lyrics for The In Between

My mother said that I was holy
My father said that I would burn
My mother said I was an angel
My father said that I would turn
So I believed these words and I turned on myself
'Cause maybe he's right, maybe I'm worthless
Or maybe he's wrong and my mother was right
I got a killer in me to give me purpose

Oh, I can feel a holy war
I can feel a holy war within
No, I can't take a holy war
No, I can't take a holy war again

Is this what you wanted?

I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven
You just keep wanting more
With your blood and your whore
I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven
It's a beautiful tragedy
You wanna be sick like me
'Cause I can bring a little hell

I was told that I was nothing
Yet I was told that I was so pure
And I was told that I was dirty
Yet I was told I was the cure
I ask myself, am I God or shit?
Am I the high, the low? I'm fucking worth it
And I ask myself, am I love or hate?
You are the reason I have and why I can't quit

Oh, I can feel a holy war
I can feel a holy war within
No, I can't take a holy war
No, I can't take a holy war again

Is this what you wanted?

I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven
You just keep wanting more
With your blood and your whore
I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven
It's a beautiful tragedy
You wanna be sick like me
'Cause I can bring a little hell

In between, in between
In between hell and heaven
I'm in between, in between
In between hell and heaven
I'm in between, in between
In between hell and heaven
I'm in between, in between
In between hell and heaven

Is this what you wanted?

I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven
You just keep wanting more
With your blood and your whore
I'm gonna bring a little hell
I'm gonna bring a little heaven
It's a beautiful tragedy
You wanna be sick like me
'Cause I can bring a little hell

In between, in between
In between hell and heaven
I'm in between, in between
In between hell and heaven

Lazaro being praised for his talents, and then harsh criticism when he couldn't live up to what he was built up to be, eventually becoming the family dissapointment, leaving him with a complex where he feels both superior, specially talented, and a worthless failure

particularly pertinent to his feelings when he first began to be criticised harshly, as he was hearing both grand praise and demoralizing take downs

also hints at his rebellious attitude he started to develop after he realized he couldn't live up to his family's expectations

Shine on You Crazy Diamond I-V - Pink Floyd

Lyrics for Shine on You Crazy Diamond

Remember when you were young? (laughter)
You shone like the Sun

Shine on, you crazy diamond!

Now there's a look in your eyes
Like black holes in the sky

Shine on, you crazy diamond!

You were caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
Blown on the steel breeze
Come on, you target for faraway laughter
Come on, you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine

You reached for the secret too soon
You cried for the Moon

Shine on, you crazy diamond

Threatened by shadows at night
And exposed in the light

Shine on, you crazy diamond!

Well, you wore out your welcome
with random precision
Rode on the steel breeze
Come on, you raver, you seer of visions
Come on, you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine

how Lazaro was the progidy with high potential, held to high expectations, but fell and became something undesirable

Live and Let Die - Paul McCartney

Lyrics for Live and Let Die

When you were young
And your heart was an open book
You used to say, "Live and let live"
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But if this ever-changing world in which we're livin'
Makes you give in and cry

Say, "Live and let die"
(Live and let die)
Live and let die
(Live and let die)

What does it matter to ya?
When you got a job to do
You got to do it well
You gotta give the other fella hell!

You used to say live and let live
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did)
But if this ever-changing world in which we're livin'
Makes you give in and cry

Say, "Live and let die"
(Live and let die)
Live and let die
(Live and let die)

beginning of his jaded outlook due to bad experiences

Jose Cuervo - Shelly West

Lyrics for Jose Cuervo

Well, it's Sunday morning
And the sun in shining in my eye that is open
And my head is spinning
Was the life of the party
I can't stop grinning
I had too much tequila last night

Jose Cuervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys?
Did I shoot out the lights?
Did I dance on the bar?
Did I start any fights?

Now wait a minute
Things don't look too familiar
And who is this cowboy who's sleepin' beside me?
Well, he's awful cute
But how'd I get his shirt on?
I had too much tequila last night

Jose Cuervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys?
Did I shoot out the lights?
Did I dance on the bar?
Did I start any fights?

All those little shooters
How I love to drink 'em down
Come on, bartender
Let's have another round
Well, the music is playing and my spirits are high
Tomorrow might be painful
But tonight we're gonna fly

Jose Cuervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Every time we get together
I sure have a good time
You're my friend, you're the best, mi amigo

Jose Cuervo
You are a friend of mine
I like to drink you with a little salt and lime
Did I kiss all the cowboys?
Did I shoot out the lights?
Did I dance on the bar?
Did I start any fights?
Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine

fun song meant to represent him letting loose under the aid of alcohol and enjoying himself at a bar. He's an attractive man, and with the edge taken off, his self confidence and flirtatious words can be very alluring to other men (with enough alcohol in him he can be flirty)

when I was young I thought this song was sung by a man, not a woman, so I can't help but read it as gay

Heaven - Bryan Adams

Lyrics for Heaven

Oh, thinkin' about our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothin' can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Baby, you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in Heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
Isn't too hard to see
We're in Heaven

Oh, once in your life, you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Yeah, nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh, there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
'Cause our love will light the way

And baby, you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in Heaven
Yeah, love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in Heaven, yeah

I've been waitin' for so long
For somethin' to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Yeah, I'll be standin' there by you, oh

And baby, you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in Heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
Isn't too hard to see
We're in Heaven, Heaven

You're all that I want
You're all that I need

his relationship with Gabrielle, particularly before it ended, though still applicable

Antisocialist - Asking Alexandria

Lyrics for Antisocialist

I had a dream once
All by myself with no one else
I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven
Then I woke up
And everybody wanted something
Reaching out - don't fucking touch me
So I take pills to induce sleep
But I always wake up

Please, stay away from me
You keep on talking with nothing to say
I don't wanna hear about your life
You make me wanna eat a bullet, bullet
It's on my forehead, four letters off, and
Go forth and spread the word, I don't wanna know you
Please, stay away from me
'Cause I don't fucking like you

I had a dream once
I didn't know at the time
The world was perfect in that moment
Then I woke up
I was surrounded by these strangers
Standing close and staring in
So I drink liquor to escape it
But I always wake up

Please, stay away from me
You keep on talking with nothing to say
I don't wanna hear about your life
You make me wanna eat a bullet, bullet
It's on my forehead, four letters off, and
Go forth and spread the word, I don't wanna know you
Please, stay away from me
'Cause I don't fucking like you

From my heart, I hope you know this song is about you
From my heart, I hope you know this song is about you, yeah
From my heart, I hope you know this song is about you
From my heart, I hope you know this song is about you

Stay away from me
You keep on talking with nothing to say
I don't wanna hear about your life
It's on my forehead, four letters off, and
Go forth and spread the word, I don't wanna know you
Please, stay away from me
Please, stay away from me
'Cause I don't fucking like you

his self protective hostile attitude against most people, dislike for small talk and touch

Hey You - Pink Floyd

Lyrics for Hey You

Hey, you
Out there in the cold, getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?
Hey, you
Standing in the aisles with itchy feet and fading smiles, can you feel me?
Hey, you, don't help them to bury the light
Don't give in without a fight

Hey, you
Out there on your own, sitting naked by the phone, would you touch me?
Hey, you
With your ear against the wall, waiting for someone to call out, would you touch me?
Hey, you, would you help me to carry the stone?
Open your heart, I'm coming home

But it was only fantasy
The wall was too high, as you can see
No matter how he tried, he could not break free
And the worms ate into his brain

Hey, you
Out there on the road, always doing what you're told, can you help me?
Hey, you
Out there beyond the wall, breaking bottles in the hall, can you help me?
Hey, you, don't tell me there's no hope at all
Together we stand, divided we fall

Lazaro yearning for some connection and vulnerability after he's already put up his hostile facade

Against the Wind - Bob Seger

Lyrics for Against the Wind

Seems like yesterday
But it was long ago
Janey was lovely, she was the queen of my nights
There in the darkness with the radio playin' low, and
And the secrets that we shared
The mountains that we moved
Caught like a wildfire out of control
'Til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove

And I remember what she said to me
How she swore that it never would end
I remember how she held me, oh, so tight
Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then

Against the wind
We were running against the wind
We were young and strong
We were running against the wind

And the years rolled slowly past
And I found myself alone
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends
I found myself further and further from my home and I
I guess I lost my way
There were oh, so many roads
I was livin' to run and runnin' to live
Never worried about payin' or even how much I owed

Movin' eight miles a minute for months at a time
Breakin' all of the rules that would bend
I began to find myself searchin'
Searchin' for shelter again and again

Against the wind
Little somethin' against the wind
I found myself seekin' shelter against the wind

Well, those drifters days are past me now
I've got so much more to think about
Deadlines and commitments
What to leave in, what to leave out

Against the wind
I'm still running against the wind
I'm older now but still running against the wind
Well, I'm older now and still running
Against the wind

his difficult young adult years, living against societal standards, includes his relationship with Gabrille, and how even as he's gotten older, he's still going against the grain

You Wear it Well - Rod Stewart

Lyrics for You Wear it Well

I had nothing to do on this hot afternoon
But to settle down and write you a line
I've been meaning to phone you but from Minnesota
Hell, it's been a very long time

You wear it well
A little old-fashioned but that's all right

Well, I suppose you're thinking, "I bet he's sinking
Or he wouldn't get in touch with me"
Oh, I ain't begging or losing my head
I sure do want you to know

That you wear it well
There ain't a lady in the land so fine, oh, my

The all day rock and roll shows
Them homesick blues and radical views
Haven't left a mark on you

You wear it well
A little out of time but I don't mind

But I ain't forgetting that you were once mine
But I blew it without even tryin'
Now I'm eatin' my heart out
Tryin' to get a letter through

Since you've been gone it's hard to carry on
I'm gonna write about the birthday gown that I bought in town
When you sat down and cried on the stairs
You knew it didn't cost the earth, but for what it's worth
You made me feel a millionaire

And you wear it well
Madame Onassis got nothing on you, no, no

Anyway, my coffee's cold and I'm getting told
That I gotta get back to work
So when the sun goes low and you're home all alone
Think of me and try not to laugh

And I wear it well
I don't object if you call collect

'Cause I ain't forgetting that you were once mine
But I blew it without even tryin'
Now I'm eatin' my heart out
Tryin' to get back to you

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you
Oh, yeah
After all the years I hope it's the same address
Since you've been gone it's hard to carry on

Lazaro looking fondly back on his time with Gabrielle

Cover Me - Bruce Springsteen

Lyrics for Cover Me

The times are tough now, just getting tougher
This old world is rough, it's just getting rougher
Cover me, come on baby, cover me

Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Promise me baby you won't let them find us
Hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us
Cover me, shut the door and cover me

Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Outside's the rain, the driving snow
I can hear the wild wind blowing
Turn out the light, bolt the door
I ain't going out there no more

This whole world is out there just trying to score
I've seen enough; I don't want to see any more
Cover me, come on and cover me

Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Outside's the rain, the driving snow
I can hear the wild wind blowing
Turn out the light, bolt the door
I ain't going out there no more

Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me
Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me
Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Lazaro again seeking out connection and someone to be vulnerable with, but this time specifically a romantic partner who will protect and comfort him (which will be Mark)

I intially had this song listed for Mark, but the wanting an escape from a harsh world and hiding away suit Lazaro even better

Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney

Lyrics for Maybe I'm Amazed

Baby, I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time
And maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time
You hung me on a line
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

Baby, I'm a man
Maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Baby, I'm a man
And maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me to understand?

Baby, I'm a man
Maybe I'm a lonely man who's in the middle of something
That he doesn't really understand
Baby, I'm a man
And maybe you're the only woman who could ever help me
Baby, won't you help me to understand?

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time
And maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you
Maybe I'm amazed at the way you help me sing my song
You right me when I'm wrong
Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you

how Marks kind nuturing nature helps Lazaro improve and lets him feel vulnerable yet safe; how much he depends on Mark

Honorable mentions

The lyrics of these songs don't strongly corraborate the association I have, so they're not included.

Losing my Religion - REM

just vibes really

Movin' Out - Billy Joel

teenage defiance, choosing a different path from what his family expected him to

One Night Only - The Struts

I wanted to include a Struts song, as the singers singing voice suits Lazaro so well

given the more intimate tender feeling of this song, take it as Lazaro sharing sexual intimacy with Mark

You're so Vain - Carly Simon

how some others feel about him due to his arrogance, self importance, and well. vainity

Gallery

WIP - theres gonna be a gallery here

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