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Opal

Best friend to Mark. Opal is generally mellow and enjoys cracking jokes, but can be overcome with feelings of jealousy and self hatred.

⚠ This page contains references to self harm and suicidal ideation! ⚠

Personality

At first Opal appears easy going and jovial, easy to make jokes and friendly aquaitances. She generally doesn't stress the little things, but her joking nature was born out of her deep desire to be liked. Nothing raises her spirits better than making someone laugh, especially if its a stranger. She sometimes tries too hard to be goofy, though her humor usually lands anyways due to decades of crafting.

Despite her outward demeanor, Opal has struggled with depression and low self esteem since she was a young teenager. She used to self harm, and genuinely did not expect to make it past 20, yet here she still is. Due to lack of motivation, she can be unkempt, and her living space is definately a mess. Washing dishes is the bane of her existance.

She's never had a life calling, but she has always been artsy, often trying out new crafts and hobbies. She can draw, paint, sew, make jewelry, crochet, ect. She is a furry, though I have not designed a fursona for her. She would have a fur suit if she could actually finish a large scale project. Perhaps just a tail will have to do. Likewise, she has always wanted to do cosplay but has never finished a costume.

Sometimes spirals when you don't respond to her messages (especially if she can see you active elsehwere online), terrified that it means you don't like her and are going to abandon her as a friend. May panic and send more desprate messages, and afterwards seek assurance that you still like her. Can get jealous when you spend time with someone else without her, afraid that you like them more than her. Unfortunately this behavior pushes people away from being the close friends she desires.

Her voice is steady, on the deeper side, sometimes loud, and often punctuated by a chuckle and grin.

Physical Traits

• chubby/fat with a pear shaped distribution
• round oval face with a chin dimple
• puffy under her eyes, thick eyebrows that are occasionally shaved to a dot each
• black hair that is often shaved, can be stubble to grown out and inch or two
• hairy for an afab woman, has PCOS which gives her extra body hair and chin hairs, which she does not shave
• likes casual alt clothes, makeup, and jewelry, when not dressed up she likes hoodies and leggings, wears purples, greys and blacks, chunky sneakers
• may have self harm scars on upper arms (not drawn here)

I haven't drawn a full body of Opal in a long time, so this old art will have to do. This was early on in my phone digital art experience, so the lineart is thick and unvaried, thus this piece lacks details I would normally add, such as body hair.

Story Roles

She's a regular human in all of the settings, rarely looking much different in art.

Magic Apocalypse Story

Opal and Mark live in an abandoned house they found. Due to her previous skills, she has taken up a community role as a seamstress/tailor, often mending clothes. She was generally content with their life until two strangers who show up at his house late at night looking for shelter. Mark takes them in despite Opal's reluctance. She is reasonably wary, and worried that the strangers will try to take advantage of them or catch them off guard. It is a desprate apoctalyptic setting afterall. After they go back to bed, she argues with Mark about it.

Star Trek AU

In my Star Trek AU Opal works in the sickbay along with Mark, acting as a nurse.

Relationships

Mark

Opal and Mark are best friends, often having lived together before the main events of the story. In settings where they were normal humans as young adults, she and Mark will have rented a shitty appartment together. They both are rather messy, so their shared living space tends to be untidy and cluttered.

In the magic apocalypse story they share a house, so sometimes they are mistaken as a couple, especially considering they share a room and even bed. They are close and comfortable around each other, but it is entirely nonsexual and nonromantic.

Opal appreciates that she can be close with Mark without the fear that he'll misinterpret her behavior/words as romantic towards him. He is her closest friend and she fears one day he'll chose a romantic partner over her.

Opal does not like Lazaro very much, finding his judgmental attitude to be very offputting. And he doesn't laugh at her jokes. She can't understand why Mark likes him, and as Mark and Lazaro grow closer, she becomes more jealous and insecure, afraid Mark won't want to be good friends anymore now that he has a love interest. She may try to point out to Mark how much of an asshole this guy is, but Mark, always giving the benifit of the doubt, has excuses for him. She thinks she can see romantic relationships more objectively due to being aromantic, but she fails to see how her own behavior can be toxic.

Love languages

Giving

Opals's primary love language is quality time. If she is friends with you she will want to hang out with you all the time. It doesn't matter where, just as long as you get to spend time together. If she feels insecure and hasn't been able to have quality time with you in a while, she may try to express words of affirmation and give gifts to get your attention. Hugs and sitting on the couch next to each other is as far as she likes to go with physical contact. Acts of service are hard because of lack of motivation.

Receiving

Again, quality time by far. Nothing else makes her feel more secure in a friendship than having good indepth conversations regularly. Even having a long convo through messages counts. It will hurt her feelings if you are scrolling on your phone while hanging out with her, or otherwise not paying attention to her words. She also likes recieiving words of affirmation and gifts, both indicating to her that you were thinking about her and value her, but they are still not as fullfilling as quality time. She won't say no to a home cooked meal thats for sure, but she would be uncomfortable and embarassed if you tried cleaning up for her (acts of service). She doesn't really seek physical contact.

Other Tidbits

• likes to smoke weed
• has BPD and innatentive ADHD (which you might be able to infer from her personality description)

Songs

These are not necessarily songs that this particular OC would listen to, just ones from my own collection that I feel has their vibes. My collection is primarily rock, where as my characters tastes would be different character to character. Lyrics are copy pasted frmm those lyric sites, sorry for any inaccuracies. Each song as a whole will usually be applicable to the character, but extra pertinent lines will be italicized. Note that I may interpet the song very differently from what the band intended.

Ghost - Badflower

⚠ These lyrics contain graphic descriptions of suicide attempts! ⚠

Lyrics for Ghost

I tried it once before but I didn't get too far
I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart
And all I really wanted was someone to give a little fuck
But I waited there forever and nobody even looked up

I tried it once before and I think I might've messed up
I struggled with the veins and I guess I didn't bleed enough
But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die
But nothing very special ever happens in my life

Take the blade away from me
I am a freak, I am afraid that
All the blood escaping me won't end the pain
And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me
I died to be the white ghost
Of the man that I was meant to be

I tried it like before and this time I made a deep cut
I thought about my friends and the way I didn't give enough
And I should've told my mother, "Mom, I love you," like a good son
But this life is overwhelming and I'm ready for the next one

Take the blade away from me
I am a freak, I am afraid that
All the blood escaping me won't end the pain
And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me
I died to be the white ghost
Of the man that I was meant to be

I tried it once again and I think I might black out
I should've left a letter but I had nothing to write about
My blood is all around me, I get dizzy if I stand up
The cutting part was easy but regretting it is so fucked

Yeah, take the blade away from me
I am a freak, I am afraid that
All the blood escaping me won't end the pain
And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me
I died to be the white ghost
Of the man that I was meant to be
I tried it once again and I think I went too far
I cut a little deeper and the pressure stopped my heart
I couldn't tell my mother that I love her, I'm a bad son
This life is overwhelming and I'm ready for the next one

Opal has a history with self harm and suicidal ideation, often feeling worthless and like she doesn't make anyone else's life better

her self harm was a subconcious cry out for help, secretly hoping somone would pay attention enough to notice it and get her help, (even as she tried to hide it)

Jackie Blue - Ozark Mountain Daredevils

Lyrics for Jackie Blue

Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Lives her life from inside of a room
Hides that smile when she's wearin' a frown
Ooh Jackie, you're not so down

You like your life in a free-form style
You'll take an inch but you'd love a mile
There never seems to be quite enough
Floating around to fill your lovin' cup

Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
What's a game, girl, if you never lose
Ask a winner and you'll prob'bly find
Ooh Jackie, they've lost at sometime

Don't try to tell me that you're not aware
Of what you're doing and that you don't care
You say it's easy, just a nat'ral thing
Like playing music but you never sing

Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Making wishes that never come true
Going places that you've never been
Ooh Jackie, you're going again

Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Lives a dream that can never come true
Making love is like siftin' through sand
Ooh Jackie, it slips through your hand

Every day, in your indigo eyes
I watch the sun set but I don't see it rise
Moonlight and stars in your strawberry wine
You'd take the world but you won't take the time

Ooh-hoo, Jackie blue
Lives her life from inside of a room
Makes you think that her life is a drag
Ooh Jackie, what fun you have had

depression has Opal living a rather uneventful unfullfilled life

she tends towards pessimism which leaves her unmotivate to try accomplishing the things she wants, and unappreciative of the good times she has had

Krytonite - 3 Doors Down

Lyrics for Kryptonite

Well, I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
But I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there's nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
After all, I knew it had to be something to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there a holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
But still, your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me, then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there a holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there, holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite, yeah
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there a holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

reflective of Opal's strong desire for a true loyal friend who will be by her side no matter what, someone who will support her as much as she supports them

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac

Lyrics for Landslide

I took my love, took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
'Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
Oh, I'm getting older too

Oh-oh, take my love, take it down
Oh-oh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well, the landslide bring it down

And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
Oh-ohh, the landslide bring it down

general melencholy feeling of time passing by, and unease about how her life may change from its current stability

Lost - Linkin Park

Lyrics for Lost

Just a scar somewhere down inside of me
Something I can not repair
Even though it will always be
I pretend it isn't there (This is how I feel)
I'm trapped in yesterday (Just a memory)
Where the pain is all I know (This is all I know)

And I'll never break away (Can't break free)
'Cause when I'm alone

I'm lost in these memories
Living behind my own illusion
Lost all my dignity
Living inside my own confusion

But I'm tired, I will always be afraid
Of the damage I've received
Broken promises they made
And how blindly I believed (This is all I know)

I will never break away (Can't break free)
'Cause when I'm alone

I'm lost in these memories
Living behind my own illusion
Lost all my dignity
Living inside my own confusion

I try to keep this pain inside
But I will never be alright
I try to keep this pain inside
But I will never be alright (I'm lost)
I try to keep this pain inside
But I will never be alright (I'm lost)
I try to keep this pain inside
But I will never be alright

I'm lost in these memories
Living behind my own illusion
Lost all my dignity
Living inside my own confusion

Opal feeling like she can never heal and work past her depression and self hatred

Runaway Train - Soul Asylum

Lyrics for Runaway Train

Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a blowtorch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow, I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am, just a-drowning in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

And everything seems cut and dry
Day and night
Earth and sky
Somehow, I just don't believe it

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow, I'm neither here nor there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
It's just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow, I'm neither here nor there

Runaway train never coming back
Runaway train tearing up the track
Runaway train burning in my veins
I run away, but it always seems the same

Opal feeling hopeless and wanting to run away to start anew, but she knows it will just end up the same

Time - Pink Floyd

Lyrics for Time

Ticking away
The moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours
In an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground
In your hometown
Waiting for someone
Or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun

And you run, and you run
To catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around
To come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way
But you're older
Shorter of breath
And one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught
Or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation
Is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over
Thought I'd something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
When I come home cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells

Opal uncomfortably aware of how quickly time has passed, and how she doesn't have much to show for it

What's Up - 4 Non Blonds

Lyrics for What's Up

Twenty-five years and my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out, what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
"What's going on?"

And I say, hey-ey-ey, Hey-ey-ey
I said "Hey, a-what's going on?"
And I say, hey-ey-ey, Hey-ey-ey
I said "Hey, a-what's going on?"

And I try
Oh my God, do I try
I try all the time
In this institution
And I pray
Oh my God, do I pray
I pray every single day
For revolution

And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out, what's in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar
And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
"What's going on?"

And I say, hey-ey-ey, Hey-ey-ey
I said "Hey, what's going on?"
And I say, hey-ey-ey, Hey-ey-ey
I said "Hey, a-what's going on?"
And I say, hey-ey-ey, Hey-ey-ey
I said "Hey, a-what's going on?"
And I say, hey-ey-ey, Hey-ey, yeah yeah yeah
I said "Hey, a-what's going on?"

Twenty-five years and my life is still
Tryin' to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination, mmm

Opal feeling dissatisfied and frustrated with the world and the trajectory of her life

Gallery

WIP - theres gonna be a gallery here

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